Codependency for Dummies

Anything that will help us stop our habits of "people pleasing" at our own expense, break denial about our role in our "addicts" lives (exa. drug addicts, alcoholics, over eaters, sex addicts, gamblers, shoppers, workaholics, etc. etc.) is a worthwhile read. This little gem spells it outquite well with lots of great tools to help us get beyond "Denial is not a River in Egypt".....Pair this with some other action steps: Attending actual Codependents Anonymous meetings (in person, or on line)...check out thetopic on Google and you'll find a plethora of options.Also read some other gems of the topic: Facing Codependency, by Pia Melody and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody, andWomen Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood (also Men Who Love Too Much, same author). Also check into Al-Anon, Narc-Anon,Adult Children of Alcoholics, Adults Molested as Children, Survivors of Incest Anonymous, and of course the grand-daddy of them all: Alcoholics Anonymous (an open meeting ALWAYS), and/or Narcotics Anonymous (an open meeting ALWAYS).....People with codependency issues often come from families where the rules are: Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel. If there are 4 siblings,one will likely be the HERO, another the REBEL, another the CLASS CLOWN/MASCOT, and the last the INVISIBLE one. Sound familiar?Most of us learn all 4 roles to use in a pinch, but generally each of us picks one we can "star" in. A way of coping with our horrendous familyof dysfunction. Most of us started this pattern in tiny childhood. By the time we're in our teens, young adult hood, or nearing thirty, we tendto have made a pretty big mess of our lives. The longer we put off dealing with our codependency issues, the worse things tend to get.The good news is that reading this book will help you get started. Attending the meetings will help more and best of all, working the 12-stepsof Codependents Anonymous could save your life. Codependents have the same rate of heart disease, hypertension, stress issues asthose who abuse alcohol and drugs. Its uncanny, that loving an addict makes us as sick as them. In some ways, we are sicker. Check outmy You Tube video on Codependency as well by Linda Schiller-Hanna. I care. Hope you find this helpful.

Just a few of the wonderful & healing things I am learning from reading "Codependency For Dummies":How to raise your self-esteem by practicing self-love and knowing it's okay & healthy to do so.The difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking.How to separate responsibility for yourself and for others.How to overcome guilt and resentment.and much, much more!This was all a foreign concept to me until the past few years when I started digging deep within, and wondering why I was so stressed, unhappy, burned out, and feeling unloved & unappreciated for all I did for others. Thinking of myself was not an option in my mind. Recovery is a hard road, but well worth it to feel good about ourselves, to truly love ourselves just as we are, and to begin to gain an emotional freedom that you never thought was possible.I have read a lot of books on codependency, but none of them have touched me as deeply as Darlene Lancer's book "Codependency for Dummies." She writes in a very warm, down to earth, and easy to read/implement style. It has made me want to dig deeper and deeper within myself to heal my detrimental thoughts & old ways of thinking. There truly is a way out of the pit of despair. You can learn a new way to live/think, and you will be so proud of yourself for every courageous step you take to discover that you really are okay & you always have been. I wouldn't be where I am in my recovery without the helpful information & exercises in this book. Darlene really knows what she is talking about as she has journeyed this road of recovery herself. Reading this book is like having your own personal cheerleader.If you are struggling with any of the things I mentioned above, I guarantee you will become much happier with yourself & life by reading this outstanding book. Put into practice the wonderful tools that Darlene so freely shares with you. It is a life long process, but there is hope for healing, and you will surely find it in this very helpful book.

A good book, although like all "...for Dummies" books a little topical....This is a pretty good how-to book in overcoming co-dependency. It explores the causes and effects, and I particularly liked the dissection of the origins of co-dependency, because as the book points out, as Americans, we are supposed to overcome everything with our can-do attitude, not focusing on the negative, spinning a disaster into some kind of good, and thinking about how other people have it worse.So the first step is to acknowledge that a person is co-dependent often because they were designed that way due to the lousy parents - people we trusted most.Further, co-dependents often enter into relationships with similar people who do terrible things - again, people we trusted the most.The only criticism of course is that it is a topical book, and is really only entry into overcoming co-dependency.Further reading is required but this is a solid first step.